All families have inside jokes or stories that need an explanation in order to be understood by “outsiders”.

I know a husband who, when he gets “caught” by his wife in some low level failure to do something properly, will say, “Hey, I’m trying.” To which his wife will answer, “Yeah, VERY trying.” The incident ends with a smile and in good spirits. Within their family, all someone has to do is say. “I’m trying” and everyone chuckles.

I recently received an e-mail from a good friend with whom I’ve been sharing counsel for a couple of years. I’ll call her “Jane” in order to save myself the hassle of looking for ways to refer to her. Jane said in her e-mail that she would try to do better in terms of medication, exercise, and proper diet, but confessed nearly total failure to do the right thing.

I wrote back, “Only you can be responsible and take your meds, go for exercise, and monitor your eating habits. No one else can do it for you. Your ‘feeling like a failure’ is the predictable result of making three very bad decisions regarding meds/exercise/eating. You often say that you’ll ‘try’ to get to the gym, etc. The word ‘try’ is the most useless word in the English language IMMHO (In My Most Humble Opinion). ‘Trying’ lets us off the hook. If we fail, we just say we’ll try harder. Just do it. That’s the best advice I can give you. Quit trying and just do it. (g)

In Jane’s next e-mail, she asked me if I’d ever preached on the word “try”. Well, I couldn’t recall doing that (although I certainly could have and probably should have). I decided to share my thoughts here on Inside Out as a first step.

We taught our children the meaning of obedience by explaining that it means doing what one is asked and doing it immediately. The phrase was: Do It! Do It Now! You can find a piece in the archival section by that name. Worth the read.

The fact that we don’t succeed in our pursuit of a goal is most often not due to lack of information or even initial motivation. Chalk it up to laziness, inertia, getting sidetracked, etc. You can add to this list, I’m sure.

I ask you to quit hiding behind that three letter word, “try”. If you know what needs to be done and you’re committed to do it, then just Do It! Do It Now!

I’m guessing that lots of thoughts and ideas have been triggered by this piece. Please use the “Leave a Reply” box below and let me know what you think. If you don’t agree with my premise, tell me why! (g)

SOME SELECTED RESPONSES TO “BACK SEAT DRIVER”

– Just a bit of time before walking to Bible study. I read the e-mail, and the line, “total faith ministry” struck me. I thought, mmm, we ought to have a total faith LIFE, too. Hard to achieve. Walk by faith not by sight? Since I really don’t see as well as when I was younger, in some ways I am walking by faith when I walk. We take a lot of things by faith…that the sun will keep following its path; the rains will come; gravity will not fail us. Only time gravity won’t be needed by Christians is when Jesus comes and we meet Him in the air. Gravity won’t be necessary.

– I, unfortunately, can relate far too many times to the lesson you presented so well. I feel certain that you will hear many stories.

– The rose for Pat is beautiful, Jerry! Such a work of God’s art!!! Only the Creator could make it! You’re in my prayers.

– My husband used to be one of the best back-seat drivers I’ve ever met! Yes, used to be. He would tell me to turn left when the left turn light was still red, to “go” before the light turned green, to turn left when I was in the right hand lane, etc. One day I stopped the car, turned to him and said, “I don’t tell you how to drive when your driving, please don’t tell me how to drive when I’m driving!”

– I remember a few good times while growing up hearing “Don’t Do As I Do, Do As I Say!”

We teach the kids and then they expect us to stick to what we teach them which we should. All too often, though, we will break our own rules just to get something done in a hurry or for any number of reasons. I’d say that’s good for confusion for kids. They probably try to figure out why adults have their own set of rules for themselves. I think it should go back to that good old saying, “Practice What You Preach!” That is what we need to do. Whatever we teach our children, we must practice those same rules. Once again, great food for thought.

– I’m thankful for my good old-fashioned values, no matter how nerdy the youth today think it is. I’m thankful for my good old-fashioned hubby, too, whom I’d have to say is why we’ll be married 29 years this August. It’s important to stick to good values and ethics, and if good values means being old-fashioned, then God keep me old-fashioned – always!!!

– Oh, thanks. Yes, back seat drivers, especially when they are in the front seat with you, can cause a big headache and shaky nerves. An adult who does not have a license is worse than a kid about to get one IMMHO.

– Doing as we say and not as we do: You mean like saying, “Be encouraged in the Lord.” “Don’t worry?” “Look to God and pray about it.” Makes me wonder if we should be so quick to give this kind of advice if we are not going to take it ourselves! Grin. Of course, there are many other things that I have said (to my kids) and then not done them myself. Like “Don’t speed.” Yet, I have broken the speed limit. So many things we say and yet do not do ourselves. It really all goes to integrity. If we say believe in it then we need to follow it, no matter how small a matter it may seem to be. Actions speak louder than words. People learn (children and others) by seeing us back up our mouth with our actions!