Polite Conversation Or True Communication?
Over the past fifteen years, I’ve occasionally bumped into a particular person. This person always asks me how everybody in my family is doing AND states that they’d been meaning to call me every day! This happened again just a couple of days ago. Polite conversation? Maybe. True communication? Absolutely not! It reminded me of something that occurred awhile back.
A few years ago, I was at a meeting of our worship team at church. The father of one of our younger members came to pick him up. This father and I have been friends for a long time.
As he headed toward the front door, he said, “Hey, let’s get together some time.” You need to understand something at this point in the story. This is a game we’ve played for years. On many occasions we’ve made the polite, unquestionably sincere, statement, “Hey, let’s get together some time.”
This time I “exploded”. The mock anger was all an act, but there was an element of reality buried in the “show”. I said, “That’s not the way it works. We can go a whole lifetime and never get together with this approach. Be specific. Say, “Can you come over Tuesday at 11:00 am.?” He said, “Well, okay then, see you Tuesday morning.” By the way, his children all offered varying opinions about whether I’d show up on the basis of that conversation. I did show up that Tuesday at 11:00 am. I had an enjoyable visit with my friend, his wife, some of their kids and their dogs. Folks, these aren’t just dogs. They used to have a dog at their home that one could saddle and ride. Now they have two such dogs. Have you ever looked a dog in the eye without looking down.
What is the Life Lesson I see in this story? If we want to be known as “nice, polite, friendly, etc.” just keep on saying things like: “Hey, let’s get together some time” or “Y’all come see us, ya hear?” or “We really must do better at writing and calling.”
Polite cliches don’t lead to strong, growing, personal relationships. Be specific; set a time and date; show up at least on time, preferably 5 minutes early (right, Larry?) Write that letter, make that phone call, don’t leave it up to the other person to make the first move – that is, if you REALLY want to get together. I wish I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard all the innocuous, flaccid, meaningless attempts to pretend that “we” really should pursue developing a better friendship, etc. We shouldn’t tease, pretend, or lead people on…they might actually take us seriously and then be disappointed when nothing happens.
Now, expand this Life Lesson to our relationship with the Lord. It’s so easy to say all the right things and sound oh-so sincere. Perhaps we really do mean it when we promise “to talk to Him later” or “get with Him in the morning” or “read some of His written communication when we get a chance”. If we are serious about developing a strong relationship with Him, we’ve got to be specific, follow through, and be accountable.

