I love to go to classic car shows. When there’s one within decent driving distance, I try to get there. The car I always hope to see most is a ‘49 Mercury. Our family had one of these when I was 11 years old and I crave seeing them. Okay, I’d love to own one, but not likely going to happen. A car that cost around $1,500 off the showroom floor WITH spotlights, dual exhausts, rear fender skirts, etc. can now fetch as much as $40,000 to $50,000. I’ve seen them totally customized with frenched headlights, dropped top, even huge flames painted on the front fenders. My preference would be a totally stock, just like it came off the assembly line in Detroit. Of course, I’d accept some tuck and roll leather seat coverings! (g)

Once in awhile, I see a friend at these events. He has this neat little bright red truck (‘41 Chevy) that he’s restored. It’s old, but brings in a trophy now and then when entered in the competition.

This friend called me last weekend to let me know that his father had died. He asked me if I would conduct the memorial service. I haven’t pastored a church for a long time and seldom get a request like this any more. I do get asked to perform wedding ceremonies occasionally, but not memorial services. However, for a friend, nothing is impossible.

I didn’t know his father. My philosophy about memorial services is that they shouldn’t be fast and impersonal. I asked my friend to e-mail me some personal stories about his Dad. Well, he not only did that, but so did my friend’s wife. By the time I finished reading the material they sent, I came to wish that I’d known this gentleman. I’m going to share a few of the personal observations they sent.

FROM HIS SON:

“My Dad was born at home on Oct 29, 1909 in Alabama. He grew up on a farm and became a farmer himself when he was grown. As an adult, he married my Mom and had two boys. As a sharecropper, he always had to struggle to make a living. He was always a hard worker, and passed this on to his boys, along with honesty and love of family. I can remember getting a whipping with a peach tree switch a few times – most I deserved. But my Dad was kind and non abusive.

My Dad was a plain and simple man, never asking for much, but he wanted more for us boys. Farming was getting harder to make a living at every year. In 1956 he and Mom decided to move to south Florida (as he called it). He continued his work as a farmer. After living on an island for some time, Dad and Mom bought their own home. Before retiring, he worked for a nearby city.

His wife passed away at age 62. His older son had passed away even earlier at age 35. Dad always had a sense of humor which he also passed down to his sons and grandchildren. Dad was always friendly and loved to talk. He missed Mom terribly. Even after his eyesight and hearing failed, he kept his sense of humor . Slowly, his body slowed down and he expressed his desire to go on and be with my Mom.

Dad could remember names and details amazingly well to the end. One funny story I remember well is one day Dad was shaving, but he could see the tv and women wrestlers came on. I happened to notice he had shaving cream all over his face, including his forehead. We all rolled in laughter, including him.

My Dad taught me a lot even though I didn’t know it until later in life. He didn’t say much, but he led by example. Many of his teachings have been passed down to his grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Had Dad and Mom not cared about my brother and myself, I don’t know where I would be today. Because of the bold move out of state, my brother was the first person to finish high school on either side of the family. I was the second to graduate high school.

I cannot stop without saying who Dad cared about the most – my wife, Pat. She took care of Dad more than anyone on earth, including me.”

FROM HIS DAUGHTER-IN-LAW:

“In 1990, Dad moved to an Adult Living Facility because he needed more care than I could give him on my weekly visits. I continued to visit him there. Each week, when I left, I would say that I would see him next week, and he would say, ‘I’ll be looking for you!’ Some weeks, I just couldn’t make it over there, but he always forgave me. He liked me to have lunch with him in the dining room. Dad loved mashed potatoes, buttermilk, and cornbread (but, not the ‘sweet kind’, as he called it.) He wouldn’t touch chicken or turkey (he got sick on chicken when he was younger.)

Dad was never happy at the ALF, although they took good care of him. He called it ‘home’. He was very lonely and he missed his old home and his wife. His biggest complaint was that he couldn’t see very well (he had macular degeneration. I had him to several doctors who all said there was nothing that could be done about it.)

Dad always wore denim overalls, except when he went to church. He was a simple man who didn’t ask for much. He lived frugally. I loved him very much and miss him. I know he was miserable at the end and is in a better place now.”

Well, it’s Jerry again. I just came back from conducting the memorial service. In the foyer of the funeral home, the family had a collection of family pictures displayed. They also had the straw hat he wore and a bed of cotton bolls, symbolizing his sharecropper life. I was moved by all the family who came from far away to be there at this special time. AND, yes, he was buried in his overalls! A very fitting tribute.

If your family came to share about you with a guy like me, would it make a guy like me wish he’d known you? Something about which to think, eh? Please drop me an e-mail and let me know what you think about this week’s piece. I’ll share some of the best responses next week.

– Boy! did that ring a whistle (I mean a bell). Tonight, my one of my granddaughters started to whistle that same type of whistle you described in your story about the little six year old girl. I took it for so long, but then inside I felt like yelling, “Ky-Ya-Bunga!!!” BUT, I sweetly asked her not to whistle like that any more. I knew that many things were getting on my nerves—mainly because I’d picked up this GIANT cold. My list looks a lot like your list.

     What to do about it? Well, my response today was a bit like my other granddaughter who is almost three. Whenever she starts getting upset about a bunch of things, she tells me she needs some snuggly time. So, after everyone left, I snuggled up to my Heavenly Father, felt loved and took a nap. When life “piles” up, many times I’ve gone to my Heavenly Father for some snuggly time. Just resting in Him helps, believe me. I can’t explain the feeling of just reading His Word and talking to Him about the everyday things of life. It makes me feel that I can release things into His hands like colds, leaking toilets, stinky skunks smelling up the whole house, broken doors, pesky bees and much more.

– Your article was very interesting and one that I think everyone can relate to. It’s when I get to the “drop” part, that I find myself really stressed out. Today, I felt that that part was taking hold of my life. It’s been quite hectic the last several months, because of personal problems with my step-daughter. The problem is like an octopus, and reaches out all over.

     Last week, a friend of my good friend and myself, was killed at age 60. But God works in mysterious ways. My friend’s brother-in-law, had, during the course of the previous days, talked about this man’s salvation, etc. He accepted Jesus. Truly amazing, and wonderful, but we still grieve. So, you can see how I am getting near the “drop”. Sitting in the doctor’s office today for a routine exam, I was impatient. Driving home, it seemed that every idiot was out on the road, etc. But, I find that I can get my act together when I step back, survey the situation or situations, and see just what is happening to me. I find that there’s not much I can do about any of it. Be still, accept, and put it in God’s hands. Hope you get your “drips” under control.

– Boy, does your article EVER sound like the story of MY LIFE (you wouldn’t wanna take the time to read it IF I had time to write it down). How do I cope? Quite truthfully and candidly, I find that most times I don’t too well with the “cope” word. As a matter of fact, don’t you know that COPE is a four letter word…and four letter words are NOT tolerated in this house? (grin)

– I used to call my sister “an accident looking for a place to happen”, but, my friend, I think you’ve got her beat. Motor vehicle accidents, a kick in the head by a horse – it’s obvious the good Lord has a strong desire to keep you here on this earth to encourage and strengthen the rest of us.

     One thing that came to mind as I read your list of frustrations and setbacks is the memory of how God has used such times in my life in the must unexpected ways. My trust and faith in Him are built up as I see how futile my own efforts are. I always seem to use up most of my own strength before I wake up and realize that I need to give the problems to Him. When I finally do, I am often amazed to see how He transforms the frustrations into blessings and joy and peace.

– I will tell you that being driven to the edge has seemed to be my life for the past year and a half. I have not been able to find a job that I enjoy as much as my old one, I have had nine jobs in the past 2 years. I cannot believe i. It absolutely drives me crazy that I cannot find a job and stay with it. I have had serious marriage difficulties which are gradually getting better, I just never thought love was such hard work. The people I serve at the business where I am working, have no appreciation or respect. Just a simple acknowledgment of my existence would suffice, but nothing. I had to file bankruptcy, and still am behind on monthly bills. All these things have come crashing down in the past two years, and seems to bring me to the point of almost cracking. Drip, drip, drip, drip, the water goes and it is driving me nuts. It is very hard to be patient, but I do know that with time, the Lord’s plan for my life will become a realization to me and that is what I believe keeps me from cracking.

     I know this is probably petty to some other problems people have, but these events have led me to the point of cracking.

– I can sure sympathize with you! We “JUST” got my husband’s truck out of the transmission shop. We had the transmission in my car re-done about a year or a year and a half ago – and it never HAS shifted right, then REALLY started acting up yesterday morning – in the pouring rain – while hubby’s truck was in the shop again. Decided to call a tow truck to avoid damaging it further – then sat and waited in the pouring rain for an hour and a half. The tow truck never showed up. In the meantime, the refrigerator is trying to die on us, we just changed churches because of problems in the last one, the IRS says we owe them $625, and last, but not least, my BACKSPACE key on my keyboard just croaked! AAAArrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

– Besides that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? 🙂

     Your piece really touched home. I have this ex-wife… need I say more. 🙂 Here are a few of my UNfavorite things: Students who will not understand the need for a proper education; parents who refuse to help their children understand the need for a proper education; people who drive toooooooo slow on the highway at 6:00 am in the morning (maybe that is the reason why they are on the road at that time. It takes them so long to get to wherever they are going.); Christians(?) doing things in the name of Christ when, hopefully, they know that satan is really with them; preaching a Spirit filled sermon, blessed by God, and having “AMENS!” filtered throughout the text and no one acts on the message; a congregation that looks constipated whenever a pastor gets up to give the message. The list goes on. It is like the song that never ends. 🙂

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