FRUSTRATION
I wasn’t always the easy-going, laid back guy I am today. From my earliest memories, I was pretty tightly wound. Had something going every minute. Couldn’t wait to get to the “next” whatever it was…next day, next week, next year…
Fortunately, school came pretty easy, so I crammed lots of extra-curicular activities into my schedule. I belonged to every club and participated in every school-related stuff except Girl’s Athletic Association. I would have been part of that one except for the rules! In addition to school, I worked many hours at two or three jobs through high school and college.
When my school days were finally over, I steam-rolled right on into adult life. We began planting churches. Seems like every day was full to the brim with looking for sinners who needed Jesus and slightly used Christians who’d dropped out of fellowship with organized churches.
I discovered that as my days and nights got more and more filled up, my frustration level increased. This was reflected particularly in the way I interacted with those who dared to cross me or disagree with me. My world was very black and white. Usually I was right about an issue. That didn’t make me many friends, but it certainly eliminated one more time-consuming activity – negotiation, compromise, and problem solving!
As I began thinking back, one particular day came to mind. I worked full time while planting our second church. This meant that my day off was usually pretty crammed. The phone rang as I was leaving our home. Before I knew it I was off my schedule. I drove a little faster in order to make up some time. Traffic dragged. Near my first appointment — ten blocks away — my motor sputtered and quit on me. Turns out I had water in my gas tank!
After I finally arrived, late, I discovered that I’d forgotten to bring an important report. I got on the phone and managed, with the help of my wife, to at least retrieve the factual information I needed.
I had been careful not to make too many appointments because I needed to get a lot of things done. However, walk-ins and call-ins at my office took approximately 4 hours out of the day.
Finally, I sat down at the desk to do some preparation. I did a weekly live radio broadcast each week and that required planning. Writing was even then a part of my life. Deadlines were approaching and I was behind. I’d sketched out some themes, illustrations, and articles the week before so I would be ready. My notes had somehow disappeared from the top of my desk.
I planned to work late and crawl out of the hole into which I’d fallen. My wife called and said she needed the car to go to a shower. She asked me to try not to stay late.
I remember wondering…hadn’t I prayed enough? Should I have refused to see the needy walk-ins? Should I have unplugged the phone? Should I have suggested that my wife stay home and shower? None of those answers seemed right because they were truly in need of spiritual help?
Had I made an idol of my plans? Were some of my plans that important? Why did I make such big things out of little things? Was God teaching me patience?
A little booklet, “Tyranny of the Urgent” by Charles E. Hummel helped me a lot. It’s published by Intervarsity Press and still available. The near-death experience of everyone in my immediate family also contributed to my evolution from Type A to Type B.
Whatever the causes of our frustration, we need to figure out what’s going on and ask the Lord to help us simplify our lives!
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