A few years ago I acquired a model commode. For those of you who aren’t from the south, I guess you’d call it a model flush toilet. It was designed to function as a bank and stands about eighteen inches high. Someone puts some change in the bowl, pulls the handle, and the money disappears. This is all accompanied by a humongous, quite accurate, flushing sound. I never could persuade anyone to put any money in it, but everyone enjoyed pulling the handle.

It occurred to me that this would be a great way to deal with phone solicitors. Just put one end of the phone receiver next to what one of my grandsons calls “the porcelain facility” and pull the lever. How clever – pull the lever.

Well, thanks to the good sense of my wife AND my deep, inner self, the little boy in me was able to control those urges. Then, one evening while shopping in the mall, I went in a kitchen store that had a large rack of magnetic devices meant to adorn the front of one’s refrigerator. There, hanging right in front of me was a miniature commode. This model stood about two inches high and fit right in the palm of my hand. It was marked down to $1 (I wonder why?), so I acquired it on the spot.

I figured that this size would certainly have a much softer sound and just might be what I needed to discourage those phone solicitors who just couldn’t take a polite “no” for an answer. Now, I’ve never actually used either of these devices. I HAVE thought about it many, many times! (g)

Now I’m going to share a story with you that you will find nearly impossible to believe and even more impossible to consider implementing. It’s only fair to tell you this right up front.

I recently had a neat phone conversation with a newly-widowed friend. She lives way up north in the land of snow and ice. She told me the following story about how she deals with phone solicitors. I tried to get her to write it down for me, but she said that she’d just told me and that was enough…that I could tell her story. This is not word for word, but, believe me, this is her story.

She started out by telling me about a heavy conviction the Lord had put on her about the way she treated those folks who call at all the inopportune moments in her life. I can’t imagine her saying anything really rude, but she reports that she had very little patience with these callers.

As a result of the Lord’s conviction, she decided she should handle these calls in a different manner. One of the first tests of her new system came when she was at her granddaughter’s home. D______ answered the phone and told the caller that he could not talk to her granddaughter. He wanted to talk ONLY to her granddaughter. Finally, D______ decided on a compromise. She said that if the phone solicitor would allow her to say what she wanted to say to him, he could speak with her granddaughter WITH her on the line. The man agreed. For the next few minutes, D______ explained the plan of salvation to the caller. He asked many intelligent questions and seemed hungry to hear the Gospel.

On another occasion, a lady called trying to sell her some coffee. Again, D______ made the deal (she ended up even buying a minimum amount of coffee). The lady allowed her to get about half way through her testimony and then said, “Is this what people refer to as ‘personal salvation’?” My friend’s answer was in the affirmative. This woman who called to sell her coffee, ended up praying her own prayer to the Lord and gave her heart to Jesus. In order to satisfy her own curiosity, D______ asked her several questions about what had happened when she prayed. The answer was this: “I feel like someone came in and filled my heart with love.”

As hard as this story is to believe, it’s true. I’m not going to let any of us off the hook by saying that maybe this isn’t for everybody. If God lets you or me off the hook, then we’re unhooked. I AM asking that we all check it out with the Lord and see if we’ve been missing the boat all along by reacting with anger, impatience, and, yes, even the thought of flushing the unwanted caller down the drain.

I will be extremely interested in your responses to this piece. Please use the “Contact Us” tab in the top or the page or use the “Leave a Reply” box below!  I’ll answer your e-mail promptly.

– I really enjoyed reading “You Wanna Sample?” I especially was pierced by your admonition that we are not hesitant to recommend a car, laundry powder, dishwasher soap, or shoes to our friends, family, and strangers. But do we recommend Jesus? That really hit me. I am really gung-ho for certain products that really work the way they say they will, and I will recommend them to anyone who will listen! But I have a really hard time recommending my Best Friend to anyone. Why is that? Am I afraid they’ll think I’m strange? Resolve Carpet Cleaner cleaned 10 year old pet stains from my old gold shag carpet, and I couldn’t wait to write a letter of thanks to the company! But Jesus cleaned 30 years of crud from my heart!!! I should be recommending Him to EVERYONE, and writing a letter of thanks to God for giving Him to us! Thanks for the “sample” of food for thought!

– Oh, how I’ve struggled with this one, Jerry. I was raised in the Catholic Church and absolutely cringed at the thought of “witnessing” as my Baptist friends encouraged me to do. Now I’m in the Episcopal Church (which my priest wryly calls the “frozen chosen”), and even though we know the importance of spreading our faith, you can see the congregation writhe when the word “evangelism” is mentioned. Why is it that we enthusiastically recommend a product or a doctor or a school that we’ve found that has been helpful to us, but we are so afraid to talk about the One who has made the biggest difference of all in our lives? I guess it’s because when we recommend a product or a service provider we know people will be happy to get the information, or at worst, disagree with us. We’re afraid that if we talk to others about our Savior they will think we’re fools. Jesus told us they would.

     I have gained enough courage to talk with some non-Christian friends about Jesus, and the cross that I wear all the time has brought about some opportunities to talk with acquaintances. I try to be open to the opportunities God gives me, but I know that sometimes I miss chances because I’m not listening. Maybe Lent is a good time to pray for boldness!

– Ooh, love reading these. Somehow reading “it’s air conditioned” made me laugh since it is winter here.

     This is about gentle persistence isn’t it? Christians have to learn to be very persistent. Keep being a persistent Christian even though it seems the whole world is going to hell. (How else do I state that?)

     Telephone solicitors!!! Ooh, I can’t wait. In the last six months I had one lady trying to sell me something and we ended up talking about God.

     I had a man call trying to get donations for some congressman’s pet Christian project. Curious, I listened to the tape of him, and then the operator asked me a simple multiple choice question. I said, “Isn’t there a Devil who is helping cause all this? Then the man got to laughing. He kept apologizing for laughing and that just fueled my silliness.

     When he said, “Can we count on you for $75 or $100?”, it was my turn to laugh! I told him I wasn’t sure if I could even pay my bills this month so I had to decline.

     He asked me how I had such a happy attitude (now, this is a Christian organization calling me). He said that I’d made his day. I am glad I did. Talk about a thankless job!! I plumb forgot to ask to be put on their don’t call list, I was having so much fun!

– Your Chinese visit stirs many thoughts. My first thought was that satan uses tactics like this to entice us to sin!! That, in and of itself, is very scary. He just manages to have all those worldly temptations handy when we are at our weakest. My oldest son just found this out.

– Neat story – and what a parallel. I never looked at it that way. You are so right. We do not hesitate to tell others when we’ve had an enjoyable meal at a particular restaurant, or when we have watched an enjoyable show on television. But how often do we take the time to share the blessings that God has bestowed upon us, or told about the “unique” outcome of what was once an impossible situation? Is it that we only feel safe with a few people to share these stories? Are we afraid that some people won’t believe us? Do we take these blessings for granted, and too easily forget them – or come to expect them and not think twice about them when they happen? How much more meaningful our lives would become if we would share our experiences and let people see how God is always working within us. Maybe we all need to strive to be more aware of our ongoing relationship with Him, and to share His daily offerings with others.

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