Do you like to read bumper stickers? I do. In fact, I’ve got quite a collection of them in a computer file. Some of the ones I see are so interesting, thought provoking, or funny, that I sometimes have to hit ol’ Tonka’s brakes pretty hard to keep from eating the bumper sticker on the car ahead of me.

Many years ago, while pastoring a congregation in the Texas Panhandle, I had quite an experience. It was back in the days when the hippies were turning to Jesus. They were often referred to as “Jesus People”. One of their identifying gestures, picked up by lots of other “normal” folks (including me), was the extended index finger. While raising their hand in the air, with their index finger extended toward Heaven, they would shout, “One Way Jesus”. By that simple gesture, they meant that there was only one way to get to Jesus and that Jesus was the one and only way to get to Heaven.

One day, I drove 80 miles south to Amarillo in “Big Blue”, my 1969 Chevy. Big Blue was my pride and joy. I’d fitted her out with dual cherry bomb mufflers. Because I was in the volunteer fire department, I had all kinds of 06 inch whip antennae waving in the wind and going Twangy, Twangy, Twangy! Big Blue used to take me over the prairie to a fire, out on a back road looking for tornadoes, and chasing coyotes across endless miles of grasslands.

On my way home, I pulled up behind a church bus loaded with young people on their way to camp. Gear was loaded in the bus, tied on the top, and hanging out of the windows! On the back bumper of the bus was this bumper sticker: Honk If You Love Jesus! Well, I honked – once. All the kids in the bus rushed to the back window to see who loved Jesus. They all began giving me the One Way Jesus salute while shouting, “One Way Jesus”. I returned the salute and mouthed the words, “One Way Jesus”.

As the driver tried to get the yellow bus into gear, he had a problem. The bus began to roll backwards…slowly at first, then gathering speed. As he came closer to the front grill of Big Blue, I began to really lay on the horn. Beep, Beep, Beep, HONK, HONK! Well, the bus whacked my front end a pretty good blow. When the driver came back, I said to him, “Hey, in the future, if you hear one horn honk, just assume that someone behind you loves Jesus. If you hear lots of horn honking, be alert…you might be backing into a Jesus lover!”

Lots of the phrases we throw around amongst ourselves sound so wonderful, so theologically correct, so much like a Godly bumper sticker. Phrases like, “Smile, God Loves You” (does God no longer love me if I don’t feel like smiling?); “Cheer Up Brother/Sister” (have you ever cheered up on command?); “I’ll Be Praying For You” (usually accompanied by a hearty slap on the back); “I Understand What You’re Going Through” (do you, could you really understand?); “God Will Provide” (not much thought about whether we are to be part of that provision.).

Bumper sticker theology often consists of tired, worn-out cliches. The thing that makes a cliche a cliche is not that it’s untrue, but that it’s often used as a substitute for a thoughtful, caring, and loving expression that’s custom fit to the person and their circumstances. If you tell someone that you’re going to pray for them, you MUST pray for them. If you’re going to claim to understand what someone’s going through, make sure you do.

On the back window of the topper of my one and only pickup truck, Tonka, I have two bumper stickers, side by side. The one on the left says, “Have A Nice Day”. The one of the right says, “Don’t Tell Me What Kind Of A Day To Have”. I also have a small sticker down on my bumper. It says, “I’d Rather Be Driving A Macintosh”. But that’s another story.

Evidently people in Jesus’ day had bumper stickers on their ox carts and donkeys! Jesus intimated this when He said that just saying “Be Clothed” or “Be Fed” doesn’t do anything at all to alleviate the nakedness or hunger of folks.

What Life Lessons Come to Me
Through This Piece?

• Don’t substitute mindless cliches for thoughtful statements of encouragement.
• Don’t say anything if you haven’t thought it through, understand what you want to say, and honestly mean it!
• God can’t be reduced to some cutesy little phrase that would fit on your bumper.

P.S. Bumper stickers certainly have a place. I love one I saw a few days ago. It said, “Be Alert; The World Needs More Lerts”. If you have some favorite bumper stickers, I’d like to have you send them to me. If you want to reflect on these thoughts, click on the button and E-mail me. As I was writing this piece, the following humorous list came in. Perfect timing, eh? (I included the “eh” for the benefit of my fine Canadian friends! (g)

TOP TEN THINGS PEOPLE WON’T SAY WHEN THEY SEE A CHRISTIAN BUMPER
STICKER ON YOUR CAR

10. “Look! Let’s stop that car and ask those folks how we can become Christians.”

9. “Don’t worry, Billy, those people are Christians – they must have a good reason for driving 90 miles an hour.”

8. “What a joy to be sharing the highway with another car of Christian brothers and sisters.”

7. “Isn’t it wonderful how God blessed that Christian couple with a brand-new BMW?”

6. “Dad, how come people who drive like that don’t get thrown in jail?” “Dad, can we get a bumper sticker like that, too?”

5. “Stay clear of those folks, Martha. If they get raptured, that car’s gonna be all over the road!”

4. “Oh, look! That Christian woman is getting a chance to share Jesus with a police officer.”

3. “No, that’s not garbage coming out of their windows, Bert – it’s probably gospel tracts for the road workers.”

2. “Oh, boy, we’re in trouble now! We just rear-ended one of God’s cars.”

1. “Quick, Alice, honk the horn or they won’t know that we love Jesus!”

(By Mike Higgs)

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